It’s now time to go

Come August, our odyssey in Bombay was to draw to a close.  It was typically difficult for me to adjust to any new place.  The kids started school and their social lives were off with a bang.  I would sit for HOURS, as my ass got bigger and flatter, streaming show after show on the dongle I was not to use for downloading anything, under any circumstances, I swear I am not!    And of course, contrary to what they do say about themselves,  these are not a friendly lot, deeply suspicious anyone new and outraged at anyone who dares to be friendly in the morning.  These  are not ones to take you under their wing if they sense you’re floundering…that accent, the one that marked me here as [an]other, as surely as my name and skin color do in the USA.   I was rather astonished at first, and tried for I believe 2-3 months, and gave up.  Who needs them.

It was around that time when I stopped eating.  I started out innocuously enough, with a water fast, then when I broke that after five days, I didn’t slowly resume my normal food intake.  I allowed myself 1/4-1/2 a chappati everyday and a tiny baby bowl of chiwda.  This snowballed into an, if I can’t be happy I can at least be thin mentality, that unfortunately has stayed with me now that I too will be departing for the US in a month.  Body issues are par for the course, especially if you’ve grown up in the States.   I tend to run on the hedonist track…indulging in everything but the one thing I need to sustain my body.

So it’s happening again, a little by little.  There are no watchful little eyes asking when I would eat.  The dogs and cats are happy if they are fed and their water bowls are filled.  Since I am not cooking, it’s easier to just

not

eat

at all.

The weight loss, imperceptible at first, when my round moon face starts looking angular it has now,   I stare at the mirror with revulsion and pride.  If I could be more virtuous, drink more water….it wouldn’t have taken so long.